Don’t take it for granite

Happy Old Rocks Day.

This is one of my favorite holidays. In the past, I have talked about books and facts about rocks and geology. Today I want to share some geology jokes.

Most rock jokes are dumb, even by my standards. When I was a geology student at Humboldt State University, our geology club sold bumper stickers that read:

I had this on my truck until I killed it in 2004. It was a great conversation starter. 

The following jokes aren’t as good as my bumper sticker, but I hope they get a chuckle out of you. I tried to include jokes that didn’t have weirdly pronounced words (how would you pronounce wacke?) so that everyone can enjoy the puns.


Q: Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry?

A: He wanted to get a little boulder.

Q: Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?

A: He just couldn’t put it down.

Q: What do you do with a dead geologist?

A: Barium

Q: What fruit contains Barium and double Sodium?

A: BaNaNa!

Q: Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?

A: Because it was on shale.

Q: Mountains aren’t funny….?

A: They’re hilarious.

Q: Where do geologists like to relax?

A: In a rocking chair